june / july

by melonbar92

for awhile there, i forgot i had a blog, but these days have been about remembering and reflecting so i’m back here once again. here is a recap of my summer so far:

1) jasper


a group of friends and i took a road trip to jasper, alberta. this photo was taken at moraine lake. do you ever see something so beautiful and feel so in awe that you just want to cry? i think this lake is made up of those tears, tears of wonder, let’s say, so mysterious and turquoise, years and years of accumulated reverence.


this trip for me was marked by hours+ in a mini van, falling in love with nature, falling in love with ed sheeran, falling in step with God, and laughing so hard my stomach hurt, all in good company and not enough food.


an excerpt from a journal entry that i wrote upon coming home :
a word to hold onto – ‘hold onto the giver, sarah, not the gift.’ when i want to keep moments forever and fill my pockets with memories + mountains and my camera just does not feel like enough, i’ll remember this. i’ll embrace the gift for as long or as short as i have it, giving thanks all the while, knowing that it’s too big for me to do anything but to just live in. i’ll remember what i can, but i won’t try to catch it or keep it beyond my time with it. instead i’ll hold tight to my Giver, the one who opens my eyes to see it all and softens my heart to feel it all. 

2) beloved retreat 


i’ve been at city on a hill church for five years now, but i’ve never been to a beloved retreat. i’ve always been out of town when it happened, but this year i finally got to go! of all the retreats i’ve been to, it was probably the one where i felt the most like i was with family. it was also the only retreat that i’ve been issued a rogue bear warning and had to pray against an unwanted run-in on the morning prayer walk.


i love coah. i think that was my realization at this retreat. i don’t know why it was something that i had to realize, but when i did it felt like understanding some very sincere truth. i love this community! i love these people! and i’m grateful for them beyond what i can express here at this moment. if my heart could light up from thanksgiving, i would be bursting with the sun.

3) earnest ice cream


i’ve been scooping a lot of ice cream lately. for those of you who are wondering what my favourite flavours at earnest ice cream are, here is my current top 4 (not in order):
– mint chip
– toasted coconut
– whiskey hazelnut
– matcha green tea

4) writing (and learning how to pay attention)

from anne lamott’s book bird by bird: some instructions on writing and life :
this is our goal as writers, i think; to help others have this sense of – please forgive me – wonder, of seeing things anew, things that can catch us off guard, that break in on our small bordered worlds. when this happens, everything feels more spacious.
i think this is how we are supposed to be in the world – present and in awe.
there is ecstasy in paying attention.