the current life situation as of right now

by melonbar92

– i am sitting in my big blue suitcase, hoping this will inspire me. inspire me in what, i’m not sure. figuring out what to pack maybe. how many plaid shirts will i need? how many plaid shirts do i have? too many. why so many? i feel inspired to get another. it must be the suitcase.

– this coming tuesday (that’s two sleeps from now) i’ll be flying out to south korea. umma already left three weeks ago, two days after halabuji passed away. she said, “why don’t you come with me?” she went first while i renewed my passport and finished up my final few shifts at the ice cream store. the last scoop i made for myself was a peanut butter chocolate chip waffle cone, kids size, a perfect companion for a drizzly walk along main street with my forearm still speckled with fudge. see, i’m nostalgic already!

three potential dates i could come back home:
1) apr 2nd which is when umma is coming back. i have a ticket booked already to return with her.
2) some time in august if i get the internship that i applied for in seoul.
3) if i stay a little longer to spend more time with halmuni. maybe may. maybe june. maybe ????

– timing is a strange thing. i gave in my one month notice at earnest because as much as i loved it, i felt that i needed a new challenge. about a week later is when we got the phone call from korea about halabuji. he passed away in his sleep on chinese new year. “since you won’t be working anymore, why don’t you come?” tentative tickets were booked. 2016 is the year of the monkey which is the same year that i was born.

– last tuesday during a morning ice cream shift, i was picking up garbage and cleaning up the block when i found a folded up note in the planter outside. it was a 1000 won korean bill. i put it in my pocket to keep. i think it was god saying, “i know you’re sad about leaving this place. here’s a dollar to buy yourself an ice cream bar in korea.” he knows me well.

– i’m really happy leonardo dicaprio won an oscar tonight.

three things i hope for in the upcoming months of who knows what:
1) time to rest
2) the softness to trust
3) lots of bingsu

earnest brunch

final staff brunch // photo credits to bekah